Monday, February 12, 2007


If I look back 20 years in my life, I have 5 people.. who some how some day stopped talking to me and never revealed the cause. So what did I do? I talked to few people who were our common friend and tried to figure out what happened actually? But that all went in to vein and It was much of waste of effort. But today.. I am angry with these idiots.. because if they would have told me why they are not talking to me then I would have been very happy and would have stopped thinking about them.

Lets step back.... so while cooking food (I had daal, roti and mango pickle), this combination some how reminded of my best childhood friend - Vivek Dwivedi, Vivek and I use to be together almost 75% of day time. From 1st Standard to 9th Standard, suddenly one day, he stopped talking.. and then he did not talk to me for next 5 years. (that was too much for friendship to go away, it bothered me a lot of those 5 years) I kept continuing going to his place and he will not talk. It was awkward that his parents would call me and I would go there but this guy would not talk to me. Last year I went to my hometown for 2 days, and I was walking with my nephews (Amey and Himanshu) and suddenly I see Vivek walking towards me on Road. I saw him, he waived hand, I was so pissed.. and then he came talked to me. I asked him.. so tell me why are you not talking to me since last 18 years! and he did not have answer. And I told him - that if you can not tell me then please do not bother me after 18 years and I just left him there.

Second person was my collegue at work - We were friends, use to do so many things together - and our company let him go... and he stopped talking to me. I never got to know why did he do that. Some how after thinking about Vivek - I am bit relieved about him too.

Third person - She was very good friend of mine, 12 years ago I met her in Allahabad, we were very good friends. And one day - she calls and tells me that she won't talk to me, and I asked her why, she gave me most confusing answer - ask yourself. If I knew that why she won't talk to me why would I ask her? Then she never talked to me again - But yesterday I got a mail from her after 10 years. And I asked same question, and she said that its too late for the answer. She told me that she will tell me some day, when she will feel okay. (she is still counted as half chicken)

Fourth and Fifth - These are my good friends, I know them since long, they knew me through some friends even before they met me. These two have the similar characteristics, they arey trying to ignore.. which is OKAY! but I would love to hear from them why would they ignore me.

So.. why did I think about it today? Because its stupid chicago weather and I can not go out! and Literally I do not have any work. But anyway.

I think that people think differently, some people are not open and I have strange experiences that people talk some thing bad about some one, and those two are really good friends, I have one of my collegue, who I think was one of the reasons for something bad for other collegue, but it seemed that they both were good friends.

I keep thinking about myself, I have huge feeling that people get irritated with me and they do not tell me! But I really do not know how to deal with this... may be the best idea is to leave everyone on their own and go on your own!

Most probably, I am chicken too because I have not revealed some names, I think I will do that soon.. but at least I am not chicken to tell some one that I do not want to talk to you because of these reasons.

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